Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in lonesome_shadow's LiveJournal:

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Tuesday, October 17th, 2006
4:12 am	Evolve Love I've been thinking a lot about love tonight. We as people love so much, we love our family our friends and we strive for the unending love of a single individual. In some cases family and friends are the same but the feeling doesn't change. It isn't subjective and it doesn't judge. How can I tell a person that the feeling of love they experience is wrong? It isn't and I should never tell anyone that just because it may hurt you in the end or it leaves you worse for the wear, you still experience love. Love of friends or an individual is never bad while it's there. The feeling is so astoundingly different for each person that to some misery may be love. I assure you I don't mean this word in the light-hearted sense that so many use nowadays. I'm talking about the pure shit, the grade A cocaine of a feeling that leaves you in withdrawal if you don't get enough. Whether it's from friend family a certain someone or all of the above we need it to survive. We need it to function as a group and as an individual. Maybe I'm wrong but I say go ahead and love (as long as its real) regardless of consequence because even if it hurts in the end it means it was truly worth it. A Victim of Under-aged Thinking - Sam Current Mood: Thoughtful (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, October 14th, 2006
5:04 am	I got nothin I don't understand why and I suppose I don't really need a reason but with the exception of Thursday I've been in a really good mood. The weather has been shit and work hasn't been great mainly due to the weather being shit but none of that matters. I've been so incredibly unstable these last few weeks and I apologize if I've throuwn any for a loop but for no apparent reason I now feel good. Lets hope it lasts. - Sam (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, September 14th, 2006
3:24 am	Maybe I'm Wrong The last few posts from my buddy Jim have gotten me thinking. Each and every person is unique, each with their own set of problems quirks and little things that make them who they are. Sure we all share similarities and some stories and scripts as you would say are much alike. No two are the same however, not because that cannot happen as I'm sure you find someone who had exactly the same physical experiences as someone else. No two are the same because each unique life interprets life and it's environment in a different way. I could share the same experience with you but it would mean something different to you than me. If not the meaning then some aspect of that experience would differ between wether we are concious of it or not. Taking that into account, originality is created everyday by everyone in everything they do and experience. The mainstream of society and ideas maybe has run dry but originality shouldn't be defined by a new idea or something your never seen before. It shouldn't have to be a product of humans, not something that is are responsibility to create. Because when it comes down to it eventually everything will be thought of and every idea expressed but not by everyone. No single person can, even with the internet and mass media can experience everything in the world to experience. I feel no responsibility to create or pursue originality, I feel responsibility to experience my own original and unique exisitance. There is always hope, there are always more chances, there is always more love, the thing that's hard is not giving up. Keeping your eyes open as that light at the end of the tunnel gets closer, keeping them open until the exit or the train is inches away. Whatever the light becomes it will be exactly the experience you need and may very well be what gets you through that next tunnel up ahead. We keep on trucking because when you're not in the darkness everything around is so beautiful, so worth it. Current Mood: Thoughtful Current Music: Narls Barkley (5 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, August 30th, 2006
5:47 am	Sleep, it's what's for dinner Gragh! I can't sleep! I'm not even tired really but I need to be in bed. Stupid posting out of boredom. Fifth Law of Procrastination: Procrastination avoids boredom; one never has the feeling that there is nothing important to do. No matter how subtle the wizard, a knife in the shoulder blades will seriously cramp his style. Nasrudin walked into a shop one day, and the owner came forward to serve him. Nasrudin said, "First things first. Did you see me walk into your shop?" "Of course." "Have you ever seen me before?" "Never." "Then how do you know it was me?" *Evil Laugh* - Sam (Comment on this)
Tuesday, August 29th, 2006
3:46 am	The Sole Purpose of Lost Souls August is just about finished and although September holds promise for great fun and good company it does signify a change. Everyone has begun to go back to their seasonal homes leaving this now vacation spot of a town for their greener pastures. They go in hopes to make these pastures greener perhaps? With effort and hard work, a little bit of water and a lot of time. The rest of us, new and old stay here and keep watch. Maybe we're just keeping watch of our own fading grass hoping that something will come along and spark growth or inspiration. Maybe we've settled in our homes and become comfortable with the life we lead. Maybe we just try to keep it all together until summer rolls in again. Whatever the case Autumn draws closer and time will pass slower but maybe this time things will be different. Great minds run in great circles. A Victim of Under-aged Thinking - Sam Current Mood: Sullen Current Music: Cricket (Comment on this)
Monday, July 31st, 2006
4:33 am	Just Shy of Bulletproof All too often in life you come to a place that feels unsettling familiar. A time in your life that you feel you've been through before. You hope every time this happens that maybe this time things will turn out different or maybe that you'll just react different. Usually though life follows the patterns that we make for it, the inevitable ebb and flow of existence. I feel as if the patterned quilt that is life is nearing the edge of another square in the patchwork and although the next square holds the same design it is not the same. I'm sure that this post is mostly an irrational overeaction to things that I've kept inside but there's any underlying theme to it all. I am afraid of what may be to come, of the future, the next few months at least. The distant future is too far off I can't gage it. I just don't know if I can be a catalyst for a change that I don't want to happen. Nothing recently has happened that way I thought it would and in some cases that's good, others not so much but I guess only time can give those answers. It's time to try and sleep. A Victim of Under-aged Thinking - Sam Current Mood: worried Current Music: Silence (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, July 13th, 2006
11:40 pm	So Proud So we just got back from 2 days in the U.P. and it was fun. Went to lots of different places and stayed in a fancy hotel. Played in waterfalls, climbed waterfalls swam in the big lake and jumped off rocks into water. There was a big rock jutting from the water all high up and junk and nubz and me and ben climbed to it and nubz was the only who jumped. I was very proud of him and although this time he bested me because I did not try the jump I'm certain it won't be a trend. Besides I gotta let him have some to keep his hopes up. I guess we'll be back tomorrow and if anyone's interested I'll tell you more about it then. Peace - Sam Current Mood: Grimer Current Music: Complaining (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, July 11th, 2006
10:16 pm	A Poem About Sand Sand, soft until it hits your eyes Sand, grains of love and pain in-twined with one another Sand, weighing down shoes Sand, sticks to my sweaty body and makes me glisten Sand, in my goatee Sand, turns to glass when nubz strikes a pose Sand, between my fingernails Sand, all encompassing power or tiny rocks Sand, shifting the times of our lives Sand, avalanche of pain Sand, in my mind forever more Sand, washed upon my salty shore Current Mood: Grimer Current Music: Ben's unit hitting me (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Sunday, July 9th, 2006
5:02 am	Bring a shovel and meet me at the blonde hair sticking out of the ground Oh boy, so as it turns out Eli can down from his peak at such a high velocity that he had enough momentum to work his way back up again. He's not quite reached his peak again but damn it's close. I don't understand how people's minds work anymore so flip-flopped and irrational. Supreme ultimate irrationality, itty-bity common sense. So in spite of everything I'm gonna dig a hole, that way if anyone needs to bury themselves alive I've already done the work so just jump right on in. I suppose we all could just sit around and wallow in our uncertainties and never stand up for what we really want. We could continue to make excuses for ourselves and others due to fear or any other irrational thought. Hell, we can hope it'll all work itself out and find ourselves years later less happy than we already are. If we're cocky enough to think we can change people then we can spend our lives in that pursuit and never realize that the only change needed was within. So to all my blonde-haired readers natural or otherwise, hold you breath, wait for the light and we'll try not to hit you with shovels during the rescue. A Victim od Under-aged Thinking - Sam Current Mood: irritated Current Music: Smash bros (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, June 27th, 2006
3:51 pm	Summer '06 June is almost over already and July is going to be so busy for me I doubt I'll even notice it pass. Everything is moving so fast except for when you want it to. I think it's time for everything to slow down. We may not return the affection of those who like us, but we always respect their good judgement. A Victim of under-aged thinking - Sam Current Mood: Full Current Music: Snow Patrol (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Sunday, June 18th, 2006
6:16 am	Fire is the only thing that the more it eats the smaller it gets - Me I had a good getaway, it was refreshing and frankly when you've seen some of the people that I've seen in the last 48 hours nothing seems all that bad. Anyone who can show camel toe through denim must be a master of there craft...karate chop! So this post goes out to my buddies CT, Green Dice and 1 Part for helping me change my perspective back to its happy view for awhile and to Chris for being a kindred spirit and just going with any whim that I might have. Through this short journey I've come to feel better, I dunno how long it will last but it was worth and I saw some beautiful and not so beautiful things. Plus I got to be irresponsible without anyone second guessing whether or not something is safe. Oh yeah and how could I forget Big Gay Al from McDonalds, if you ever read this my man know that you have changed my life forever and also that I will never set foot into your house for fear of death. That's All folks. A victim of under-aged thinking - Sam Current Mood: warm Current Music: Washering Machine (yes washering) (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, June 16th, 2006
12:03 pm	Choose love or sympathy but never both Well as I'm sure you all know this last last month has been somewhat of a trial. Sure it's been fun but it's also been incredibly stressful. I have grown very disdainful of the current situation and all the stress and commotion so for the next few days I'm going to disappear. I'll probably be back Saturday night given I have to work but you never know what might happen. With any luck I'll see everyone this weekend and be a much happier much less stressed out person but until then I'm out. A victim of under-aged thinking - Sam Current Mood: Decent Current Music: Hips Don't Lie (Comment on this)
Saturday, June 3rd, 2006
6:13 am	Oh Boy I miss the beach, everything was simple then. Just wait for it or don't but it'll catch up. Wait for it Current Mood: AAAHAHAHAHAAHHH!! (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Saturday, April 15th, 2006
3:45 am	Yup I haven't updated in awhile, I got lots to say though. I am however at the moment exhausted so perhaps another day, if I remember. Yup - Sam Current Mood: Yup Current Music: Shower (Comment on this)
Monday, March 27th, 2006
4:11 am	Consider for a moment that all the time you spend wondering what to do next and where you are going is pointless. The energy wasted on such pursuits could be better used in actually doing rather than complaining about the lack of things to do. Still people find themselves so caught up in the destination, in the where am I going, that they miss the most important part. The destination pales in comparison to the journey because the journey is where you learn everything you'll need to know when you finally get where your going. Besides, once you reach your goal you just set out toward another one, so the majority of your life is a trip from one accomplishment/failure to another and if you ignore that trip you ignore most of life. I think I have finally figured out why I don't know what I want to do in my future. I know that no matter what I want to try and enjoy the journey but I don't even have a clue of where I want to be or what to do. It used to baffle me and I couldn't make heads or tales of it, I mean I know myself pretty well and I usually know this stuff. Today though, I think I figured it out. You can't get to where you want to go if you don't know where your starting from. If you wanted directions to my house I'd need to know where you were starting from in order to get you here. I don't know where I'm at so I can't know where I'm going. Maybe once I get that straight I'll become like everyone else, caught up in the destination, maybe that;s how it's supposed to be. Maybe I just think to much. Mostly I think though I'm just tired, tired in general and I need a break. I feel like I'm the only person who is Okay anymore and that's pretty sad. I won't try to explain that because most would disagree anyhow but from my standpoint it makes sense. I need to go to bed. The Lifer - Sam (3 Comments |Comment on this)
3:53 am	The Afterglow I'm lost again, this is occurring more and more nowadays, maybe with the changing weather it will get better. I can only hope. I'm reduced to this, when did that happen? I dunno, it's fine though. I've spent the last hour sitting in a chair listening to music...I need to do that more often. (Comment on this)
Monday, March 20th, 2006
3:36 pm	Jim's back, let's blow stuff up! Jim came back yesterday and it was great, I really missed seeing him. Mer seems cool too I dunno how much of a chance I'll get to get to know her in these two weeks but all that really matters is that she makes jim happy. There's so much for him to see and talk about but because there is so much I can never figure out where to start. My whole life is kind of like that, I am most comfortable in that strange middle area where neither the begining or end really are within grasp or sight. So we went out ast night and blew shit up, it was like old times except with Chris and I was happy, especially since I got great footage. With any luck that video will be posted on crizazy.com soon. I dunno, just thought I update while I wait for Enie to return from his Snacker mission and he's back so time for me to eat! Peace- Sam Current Mood: Hungry Current Music: Nuts crunching in my mouth (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, March 16th, 2006
4:05 am	Some Chuck Norris Facts For Y'all Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink. It takes 14 puppeteers to make Chuck Norris smile, but only 2 to make him destroy an orphanage. Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building. Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO. When taking the SAT, write "Chuck Norris" for every answer. You will score over 8000. Chuck Norris doesnt shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink. For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one. A picture is worth a thousand words. A Chuck Norris is worth 1 billion words. Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won. More to come...later. I'm a super sexy astronaut sent to punch outyourface - Peace Current Mood: Chuck Norrisish Current Music: Chuck Norris (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, March 15th, 2006
2:01 am	525,600 Minutes and Other Happenings Well it's been roughly 50,400 minutes since I last updated and I actually have quite a lot to say. First of which is if you value your sanity at all do not watch the movie Rent. It's good for an hour then you realize AIDs is the healthiest disease anyone could hope to get...I won't go into my huge Rent rant here but if you want to hear lemme know, I've found I truly enjoy venting my frustrations for that movie upon the souls of the innocent. Went to the beach three times in February and not only is it a incredibly beautiful experience but in a way it's almost cleansing. February didn't treat me too bad this year for once. Mallory came back for spring break and her b-day and it was happy fun times. We watch a movie in my room for the first time ever. She came to the beach too and that was awesome that she could be there for that. Apparently Jim comes back in town saturday or sunday and I can't express how excited I am to see him, it's gonna be so much fun and there's so much he needs to see. I've missed having him around. (If you read this Jim me and jake work at the new Meijer by EK so if you come back saturday we'll be working 2:30 to 11:00 pm so try to come by and say hi, then after we get out we can show you our place.) I also wanna meet this girl that's helped Jim through some rough spots when we couldnt be there for him. Chris and I have made a lot of progress in our jumping skills and soon we will be true ninjas. Our skills only outweighed by our sexiness. Justin got a job in Detroit so he drives there every night, it's cool but hopefully temporary cause that's gotta suck. I developed and got over a case of what I believe to have been trench foot. I won't explain what it is but know that it's kind of cool and very burning feeling. Enie had a b-day now he's 13...scary. Zack and Nate both are 21 too (well nate isn't quite yet) I guess the final things I can think of to say is that Ben asked me to be a groomsmen at his wedding. Sure its in October and a long ways away but it's still really freaking sweet. So that'll be fun. That's about all theres been in the last 50,400 minutes and it's cool. Overall things are looking up and happy. We are renting out For the Kidz on Sunday April 9th so if you wanna come call us for mo info yo. I'm a crazy superfly astronaut from outyourface - Peace Current Mood: B.A.N.A.N.A.S. Current Music: Phenomenon (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, February 8th, 2006
10:25 pm	Nothing Much To Say I never have anything to say anymore. I read posts like Jim's and really want to comment, to put in my two cents but the words just don't find their way. I dunno it's so weird. So to you Jim I say I have always had faith in you to be strong enough to beat yourself and your demons. You can do it, I know that even if you don't. Otherwise nothing much else is new, I'm going to Ann Arbor soon to see Mallory which will be great. I also bought the first 3 seasons of X-Files which is awesome. Thats about it. Peace- Sam (1 Comment |Comment on this)